Let's have fun with getting fired

Okay, I'm getting fired. I'd love to blame it on the Michigan economy, but the truth is, my position isn't being eliminated. My boss finally realized that he can't continue to expect full-time results out of a part-time worker (I work only part time). He realized that he would get better bang for his buck by hiring a full-time employee or two. I'd consider it, except that it's almost an hour drive, and I'd be paying through the nose for child care. That, and I was never truly happy there, anyway. I will miss, however, the deep and intimate relationship with my paychecks.

Moving on...I'm not supposed to know yet that I'm losing my job. My friend told me as a courtesy. I work with her and she's the one who got me the job last January. My boss is out of town this week deer hunting, so I have to just smile and wait for the axe to drop, as if nothing was wrong (now the scene of the Madagascar penguins is going in my head: "Smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave.")

Being the optimist that I am (stop rolling your eyes), I started thinking of ways to respond when my boss comes up to my 3 foot x 3 foot cubicle and utters those dreaded words, "Got a minute?" You KNOW those words are never good, and since I know what's coming, why not have a little fun with it? So here are a few of my ideas:

1. Contine to stare at my computer screen and respond with a flat "no."

2. Swivel my head wildly left and right, eyes all a-goggle, and exclaim loudly, "WHO is SAYING THAT?" Then just as suddenly return to my work. Repeat as often as necessary.

3. Hand him a milk chug and say, "Yes. Got milk?"

4. Answer with, "Let me pencil you in at 2:00...I'm about to beat my high score at ma-jong."

5. Jump up and while flailing arms as wildly as possible, run screaming from the office.

6. Say, "Why, yes." Follow him to the conference room. When he walks in, continue walking right past. Leave him sitting there for a few minutes, wondering where you went. Ten minutes later, walk past with a Starbucks and go back to your desk like nothing happened.

7. Respond with, "One sec, boss. I just got the news that my husband lost his job, our house is flooded, the transmission just fell out of our car, and little Bobby needs braces. Now, what did you want to talk about?"

8. Point behind him and yell, "OMG, did you SEE THAT?" Then run away.

9. Let him fire me, then stroll in the next day and every day thereafter like nothing happened. Crack open the laptop and whistle while I work. Ask him every day where my paycheck is.

10. Respond with, "Oh, I'm so glad you asked. I was meaning to talk to you about a raise."

So have fun with me! There's no reason why we can't make fun of my misfortune. I'm making lemonade, for crying out loud! Let's hear your ideas.